Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Things No One Tells You About Being Pregnant - Transvaginal What?

If you haven't noticed, my TMI Thursday posts have a common theme: pregnancy. There are two reasons for this:

  1. I'm knocked up.
  2. Pregnancy is full embarrassing TMI moments, so I have lots of material
Be sure you visit LiLu, who originated TMI Thursday. She also happens to be a hilarious and very talented writer.

Let me set the scene for you. I am finishing up at one of my early prenatal appointments. The doctor says, "Ok, I am going to bring you back in two weeks, and we will do your first ultrasound."

Awesome! First ultrasound! I can't wait.

Two weeks later, I arrive at the OBGYN's office for the big ultrasound. The nurse leads me to the ultrasound room and tells me to undress from the waist down.

Undress? I'm just having an ultrasound, right? I ask the nurse this very question.

"Oh yes, you're having a transvaginal ultrasound. The doctor will insert this into your vagina and you'll get to see your little baby."

"This" was a rather phallic looking wand attached to the machine. I started to freak out. I wasn't freaked out by the procedure itself, it was just...

When a girl knows she is going to have to show her goodies to the doctor, whether pregnant or not, she does certain things to prepare. There is maintenance that has to be done in that general region to make sure everything is looking presentable. I hadn't done any of those things. And hadn't for awhile. Things were not looking their best in that zone. In my naivete, I thought it would be like the ultrasounds I had seen on television, where they just rub a thingie on your tummy and hello, baby! And now my doctor was not only going to be looking at my unkempt private area, but poking at it with a magic wand. Awesome.

The doctor comes in, and we get down to business. He starts by putting A CONDOM on the ultrasound wand. Am I going to be having intercourse with this thing? Not cool.

The good thing about this situation is that all embarrassment was forgotten when I saw a little flicker on the screen and realized it was my baby's heartbeat. Holy crap! We were really having a baby!

And now I know better the second time around.

And I pity any girl who isn't me today...

So last month, I asked Tracy from Tracy on the Cheap if she would put together an affordable maternity look that I could wear to work. Tracy has the best taste, and she is great at finding deals. Plus, she's a mom, so she knows what works when you're waddling instead of walking.

Tracy posted the look right around the time I started feeling awful, so I never showed off the adorable outfit she put together for me. Please go over and check it out, and while you're at it, follow Tracy's blog!

Spring, baby!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Completely and totally awesome.

Ok, everyone. Remember The Intern? Well, as Michael Jackson would say, she's out of my life. A couple of weeks ago she had her last day. Order was restored at work, and I went back to actually liking my job. Everything is awesome.

Little did I know, it was about to get EVEN MORE AWESOME. I arrived at work today to find the office buzzing. I tried to avoid office gossip, so I didn't pay much attention. My butt had barely hit the chair when someone burst through my door.

"Did you hear?"

Uh, no...I didn't.

"The Intern got arrested last night!"


Apparently, last night The Intern was arrested for public intoxication and public indecency. She was urinating on the sidewalk outside a bar.

And my day is made.

Monday, March 29, 2010

I used to be able to think of good titles for these things.

Worst. Blogger. Ever. This blog is looking as dusty as my living room.

I'm still alive. I've been battling some fierce "morning" (all day) sickness and the general tiredness that goes along with being pregnant. Then, last week, I got the flu and was hospitalized for a few days, mainly so I could stay hydrated. I have a feeling this baby is going to be a drama queen/king.

I am home now, and back to work tomorrow. The Peanut continues to grow at an alarming rate and is now crawling all over the damn place, which adds to that general tiredness mentioned above. I am still watching reality television like it's my job, and I'm in full American Idol mode. Firmly on Team Bowersox, might I add. Despite all my personal illness, the Pumpkin seems to be doing well. We are getting close to what I call the "safe zone" as far as miscarrying goes. I lost my first pregnancy around this time in the process a couple of years ago, so I'm still a little nervous.

How have you guys been?
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