Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Holidays schmolidays.

My Christmas Eve started how Christmas Eve should - with excessive drama and physical pain.

In the morning, the Peanut was chewing on my finger when all of the sudden I felt something sharp. After a few minutes of trying to figure out what the heck was in his mouth, I realized that the sharp was coming from his mouth. His first tooth had poked through, and my finger was bleeding.

Know what is awesome about teething babies? Nothing. They are fussy and whiny and only want mommy to hold them at all times. They also don't sleep well. In all of his first Christmas pictures, his facial expression ranges from "vaguely pissed off" to "screaming like a banshee." Oh Christmas memories!

None of this stopped me from proudly telling people that my son has his first tooth. I don't really understand why I am so proud because it's not like he really did anything. He didn't learn a new skill, he woke up one morning and something sharp was jabbing though his gum. Yet I am proud of my little dental wonder just the same.

In addition to the joys of teething, we had some additional drama to deal with. I wasn't directly involved, but I was definitely affected by it. I'm not going into it, but it sucked and it's far from over.

Then we made the trek to my parents' house. It was dark, windy, and snowy, three things that make me an incredibly nervous passenger. Throw in some curvy back roads and it's a recipe for anxiety! As we got closer, the headlights shone on a sign that said "Cemetery." Ah yes, Cemetery. As in, the cemetery in which my father is buried. Merry Effing Christmas.

It's the first Christmas without him and I'm just not sure how to deal. I feel guilty that the Peanut's first Christmas is colored by the sadness of my dad not being here. I feel a little jealous of my friends who have both of their parents still with them. But most of all, I just feel sad. I miss him every day, and at times my heart hurts so much that it stops me in my tracks.

The rest of the holiday time was better, despite my mother's attempts to be the Craziest Grandma Ever. I ate a lot, reached new levels of lazy, and watched Deadliest Catch to the point that I may never be able to eat seafood again. Now THAT is my kind of holiday.


michelle said...

lol only a mom would be excited about being bitten by her child. glad you were able to enjoy christmas, even with the drawbacks

I Really Suck At This said...

LOL I know, it's so sad. Mom crazy is a special kind of crazy.

T. The Destructor said...

That is too funny. Every time someone tells me about their child teething for the first time, the only thing I can think about is an episode of Roseanne and her sticking a frozen Eggo in an infants mouth to sooth the pain from teething. Priceless. And I know exactly what you mean about missing your Dad. This is the first year for me, and it took a lot not to break down about it.

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